Escape to Mayberry-Juanita Beasley
This could be my most controversial blog yet. Controversy about whether Barney should have dated Juanita and good ole Thel at the same time. Controversy about what Juanita actually looked like. I know that for the most devoted TAGS viewers we all have in mind what we think she would really look like. However, not knowing makes her a more colorful character. Last but not least, controversy about whose girl she was first, Andy’s or Barney’s. Juanita was mentioned in 11 episodes ending in season 5 when as my last blog said Barney Vanishes.
We hear her surname Beasley throughout the series. Like most small towns there are groups of people with a common last name. We see the muscular Charley Beasley in the episode Irresistible Andy. Then there is Edgar Beasley that we never saw that always bragged about his kids. Andy considered getting a picture of Opie with his straight A report card to send to him to do a little bragging of his own. Then there was Andrew Beasley from The Case of The Punch in the Nose. And although we knew Virginia Beasley was engaged to Ernie Gilley, we never laid eyes on her either. The most well known by far though was Goober. When he first appeared on the show Andy introduced him as Goober Beasley. However, kinship to Juanita is never mentioned.
Whatever the case may be, Juanita is an unforgettable character from Mayberry. We know a few things about her. We know she was a waitress. It was generally known that she worked at The Blue Bird Diner but in the episode, Andy Forecloses, Andy said she worked at The Junction Café at phone number 142R which is the same number that Barney uses to get her at the Blue Bird Diner.
We know she was Barney’s occasional date even though he had a steady girlfriend. This may lead us to believe she might not have had the best reputation. From time to time Andy scolds Barney over her and on one occasion he teases Barney about having had a date with her.
Which leads me back to the controversy was she Andy or Barney’s girl first? TAGS viewers are busting a vein saying Andy was too level headed to ever date Juanita. So let me produce my evidence. In 1958 Andy Griffith released a record named “Love Poems: To The Lovely Juanita Beasley”. Here are the words:
To the lovely Juanita Beasley,
Oh tempestuous one, I am your slave,
For behold I love you all, Your eyes, your hair, your hands, your ears, your tooth,
Your everything,
Come fly away with me, Let us sing, let us dance, let us play at youthful games,
And fill the night air with youthful laughter ere the spring coming,
Hey noni noni,,
I am weak, I faint, I fail, For verily I am as a drooping daffodil,
I cry your mercy, pity, love give me all, It is too much
Thy kiss neh, neh, it is more than a kiss
It is a bite,
At my heart,
Ah beloved how can I tell you of my love,
Hark hear my heart, Here here here it stands
Meet the jasmine branches, Waiting in despair,
Oh the rapture, If thou would buts gaze on it,
Alas oh unreturned love tis done
For me my beloved kiss me ere I perish.
She must have been a doozy to inspire such words. I do love the one line about how he loves all of her and mentions just one tooth. Try and envision that smile. I believe this evidence proves she was Andy’s girl first.
Juanita had quite an effect on Barney too. He often sang the song Juanita both on and off the phone with her never finishing the lyrics. Generally, his conversations with her ended in embarrassment with Andy sneaking in to listen, or telling him Thelma Lou was coming, or joining in the song of Juanita with Barney. When Barney was also inspired to write Juanita a love poem Andy snuck in the court house just in time to help Barney out with the last line. Here is Barney’s love poem:
Juanita, Juanita, lovely dear Juaneet,
from your head down to your feet,
there is nothing half so sweet,
as Juanita, Juanita, lovely dear Juaneet,
Oh, there are things of wonder which men like to sing,
there are pretty sunsets and birds upon the wing,
but of the joys of nature none truly can compare,
with Juanita, Juanita, she of beauty beyond compare,
Juanita, Juanita, lovely dear Juaneet,
from your head down to your feet, there is nothing half so sweet,
as beautiful Juaneet!
She apparently had something special to offer since poor Thelma Lou never got a song or a poem. Maybe ole Thel should have spent more time helping Edgar Coleman glue covers back on hymn books. That would have taught Barney a lesson.
I have never figured out why that as much as Andy liked to tease Barney, he did not ever suggest that they go to The Blue Bird Diner when they were going out on a double date with Helen and Thelma Lou. It was conveniently located on the outskirts of town near Myers Lake. That would have gotten Barney’s goat. Now that is an episode I would love to see. For now I’m escaping to Mayberry. Maybe I will visit The Blue Bird Diner. Maybe I will see you there.
